Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Hellion Changeling!

Last week, the Caveman was exhibiting the telltale signs of one who has contracted one of the many common cold viruses.  Coincidently, since that time, we have been subjected to physical and violent outbursts from him multiple times a day, each and every day. These wrought outbursts can be recognized by the following actions:

     1. deafening screaming
     2. clawing at my legs to be held 
         (while yelling)
     3. rolling around on the floor
     4. sliding body off of surfaces by 
         tensing muscles while arching 
         back
     5. kicking any and everything within 
         reach
     6. slamming doors                           
     7. yanking the Dreamer's long 
         tresses


Until this morning, I had succeeded in convincing myself that this new tantrum prone individual was only visiting for the temporary duration of the cold infection.  Apparently, that assumption was incorrect, and I must face the music (or rather, face the shrieking) and accept the fact that, along with contracting a cold and a growth spurt, the Caveman has also contracted a new personality.  My fantasies of this stage arriving simply because of the discomfort caused by his post nasal drip, hoarse cough, and the runny eyes of infirmity, were sadly, exactly that--fantasies.  



Therefore, due to my son being replaced by a changeling, Mister and I have decided that we must come up with a set of rules or guidelines for surviving while sharing a home with this wretched cantankerous time bomb.  Our plans are threefold, wish us luck:

     1. DO NOT ANGER IT! (most 
         important of the guidelines, yet, 
         most difficult one to follow, as 
         we are; as of yet, uncertain of 
         the exact triggers of one of 
         these epic fits)
     2. FEED THE BEAST (food, or lack 
         thereof, seems to cause chaos
         under our rooftop; plus, with 
         something in his mouth, the 
         Caveman is less likely to reach 
         such incredible volumes while 
         screaming in my face
     3. WAIT IT OUT! when all else fails, 
         we quietly sit on the sidelines 
         and wait for exhaustion to 
         overcome the beast, we then 
         take him in our arms and hug 
         him, hoping to squeeze all of 
         that harsh anger right out of his 
         little being and find that lost little   
         boy whose favorite pastime is 
         searching for earthworms...

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