The Caveman's grandparents gifted him a vacuum for Christmas! Finally, a real power tool expressly for him that the family not only allowed the spawn to use, but actually encouraged such usage! The troglodyte's enthusiasm sparked this letter written by my father to my hyper-cleaning grandmother, Mutti:
Dear Mutti,
There is absolutely no doubt that the "Mutti" gene skipped a generation or two; however, you will be overjoyed this Christmas season to know that this recessive gene has re-emerged in your great grandson, the Caveman. Santa showered him with many gifts on Christmas morning including an awesome drum set. Nevertheless, his favorite gift of all, is this deluxe cordless vacuum cleaner. Casey has had to charge it up three times already and the varnish is being sucked right off of her new wooden floors. Her favorite cat Olaf and her dog Daisy are nowhere to be found. They can't pry the darn thing out of Caveman's hand long enough to feed him. We invited him over to our house this afternoon for Auntie A's birthday party in the hope that he can clean up and vacuum after the celebration. He can't wait. It truly is the gift that keeps on giving!
Genetics can be a powerful and dangerous thing unless properly harnessed. I just thank God that I inherited the bald, weak mind, bad back, but good looking gene from you. What have you done Mutti? Love and Merry Christmas from your favorite son and husband's namesake!
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